As we prepare to mark our tenacious little girl’s arrival three years ago this month, I wanted to share our story/experience with using a gestational carrier to bring our blessing, Miss K, into the world. The process as a whole was incredible, although met with trepidation in the beginning, as I’m sure most of you can imagine.
I’ll get right to the why—I had to have a total hysterectomy as a result of debilitating and ultimately life-threatening endometriosis/adenomyosis in my mid twenties which left me unable to carry children. Now I won’t say at the time I wasn’t absolutely overwhelmed with emotions which ran the gamut from devastation, to feeling as though I was no longer a woman as they had taken everything except my X chromosome that signified female, to anger and back again, but I got through it with my faith, loving/supportive boyfriend, now husband along with family & friends by my side. One could look at this and have such sorrow and sympathy, or you can look at it as…I didn’t have to worry about gaining/shedding baby weight, morning sickness, exhaustion, ability to eat/drink as I pleased (now I’m not a drinker but 🥂), and lastly the recovery of pushing a human the size of a large watermelon from my vagina. All kidding aside I CHOOSE to look at the path our Lord chose for Miss K to enter this world as one signified by perseverance but most of all one of tremendous LOVE.
Now with that out of the way we can truly focus on the process/friendship/miracle that took place when another woman selflessly carried our baby from embryo to birth as if she were of her own flesh!
We began the journey by researching/meeting with “surrogacy agencies” and chose what I would consider one of the best in Texas. From there our case manager sent us profiles to look at in order to match us with prospective carriers. We ultimately chose one and met. I can still remember the first meeting as her and her husband came in with a busy, bubbly, blue-eyed blonde-headed toddler and looking into G’s eyes and feeling an overwhelming raw emotion, which I bottled up inside and sat stoic and business like all while praying she felt one too, because not only did we have to choose them, but they had to choose us too! The ride home was almost unbearable as I didn’t want to get my hopes up only to be crushed if they didn’t feel it was a good fit…it is so important for both families to feel a connection and create a bond. After all, I wanted to be involved by attending every appointment and feeling as much like I was carrying our baby as one can in this situation…and luckily by the time we arrived home my fears were washed away by answered prayers in the form of an email…they were ready to move forward! After this came the contract, psychological evaluations, TRANSFER, pregnancy announcement, doctors appointments, anatomy sonogram and ultimately birth of Miss K.
GC/Surrogacy is quite an expensive undertaking and isn’t/shouldn’t be one that is entered into lightly by either party involved. Their are raw emotions and families on both sides to consider and although it can be looked at as a mere business transaction we CHOSE to embrace our relationship with G and get to know her as an individual and had the privilege to get to know what an amazing woman, wife, mother and friend she is. It was because of this that the most incredible life-long bond was formed between our families and I could not have asked for a better role-model or stronger female to be in my daughters life than the one who so humbly brought her into this world!
We continue to pray the Lord makes a way for a sibling for our precious K, knowing we have a wonderful woman willing to bring him/her into the world.
Thank you for letting me share my family’s story with you and if I can help you embark on a journey of your own, I am always happy to help.